Irony is Dead; or, My Kingdom for a Camera Phone!

I saw the best/worst bumper sticker ever yesterday.

Let me set the scene: I was out for a bike ride, when my seat came loose. Not sure how I would get home on bike with a seat that was akin to a rocking chair, I hauled the bike onto the Red Line El (I was in Chinatown at the time), and debated how I was going to get home--take trains all the way home or what? But I remembered where there was an Ace Hardware in the South Loop, so I got off at Harrison and ducked in to buy a metric wrench that solved my problem and I now have a new item to carry around on bike rides with me.

Anyway, I believe that fate arranged for me to be in front of the Ace that day, to serve as a witness. A witness to the dumbest thing ever.

Parked (illegally, naturally) in front of the Ace was a Hummer. Now, if you're like me, you assume all Hummer drivers are total assholes. This is because they are all total assholes. But if you didn't believe it before, believe it now. As I walked my repaired bike, seat tightened, back to the street, I glanced at the back of the Hummer. There, stuck on the back of it, was the funniest bumper sticker of all time (though, I'm guessing, not funny for the reason that the Hummer owner thinks it is). It said, and though I would give my pinky finger for a photo of this, you'll just have to take my word for it:

MY OTHER HUMMER
IS A BLOWJOB