Ain't Sayin' He's a Gold Digger

But he ain't messin' with no broke Sumerian high priestesses.

The world's oldest love poem was in the news--yes, a week or two ago, give me a break, please, I just started this thing--and it's... well... you be the judge.

You've heard of the 1,000-year-old man? Meet the 6,000-year-old player:

Bridegroom, dear to my heart,
Goodly is you beauty, honeysweet,
Lion, dear to my heart,
Goodly is your beauty, honeysweet.

You have captivated me, let me stand tremblingly before you.
Bridegroom, I would be taken by you to the bedchamber,
You have captivated me, let me stand tremblingly before you.
Lion, I would be taken by you to the bedchamber.

Bridegroom, let me caress you,
My precious caress is more savoury than honey,
In the bedchamber, honey-filled,
Let me enjoy your goodly beauty,
Lion, let me caress you,
My precious caress is more savoury than honey.

Bridegroom, you have taken your pleasure of me,
Tell my mother, she will give you delicacies,
My father, he will give you gifts.

Your spirit, I know where to cheer your spirit,
Bridegroom, sleep in our house until dawn,
Your heart, I know where to gladden your heart,
Lion, sleep in our house until dawn.

You, because you love me,
Give me pray of your caresses,
My lord god, my lord protector,
My Shu-Sin, who gladdens Enlil's heart,
Give my pray of your caresses.

Your place goodly as honey, pray lay (your) hand on it,
Bring (your) hand over like a gishban-garment,
Cup (your) hand over it like a gishban-sikin-garment.

You can't front on that! But I did have to chuckle at the part about "Tell my mother, she will give you delicacies", which seems to date it slightly. I'm trying to picture the scene:

"Good morning, ma'am, I've taken my pleasure of your daughter--now gimme some candy!"