Candles in the Wind

So here's a site I came across today: "Who Have I Outlived?"

http://www.deadoraliveinfo.com/dead.nsf/Search.outlived?OpenForm&x=nf

My results?

Outlived Results for - September 24, 1970
You have been alive 13,213 days.
Here are your closest "competitors":
You've outlived Princess Diana by 3 days.
If you make it 2 more days, you will outlive Marilyn Monroe.

Goodbye English Rose; and I'm coming for you next, Norma Jean!

Klosed Kaptioning Funnies

I'm up much too late on a school night, having a glass of wine, listening to some weird music (Naked City's Absinthe) and surfing the web, and have Craig Ferguson's show playing on the telly, muted (because I'd had on Letterman earlier to see Michael Richardson's rather pathetic and weird apology for his recent onstage racialist tirade). I glanced up a few minutes ago and saw Christian Slater being interviewed. I guess he must be in the new movie Bobby, because he was talking about it. (Yes, my senses remain sharp even into this late hour.) So but according to the closed captioning, the movie was apparently directed by... Well, goddamn, while I was writing my clever setup, I forgot the punchline. Shit. It was a real funny corruption of "Emilio Estevez" that some crazy typist threw in there. I think it was three words. I'm pretty sure the last word was "vezz", but that wasn't the funny part. It was the first couple words that made much chuckle. Dang.

Actually, this post is a pretty accurate example of how I tell jokes in real life.

Zing! Goodnight! I'll be here all week!

Another Friday, Another Random Ten

Talking Heads-Once in a Lifetime
Big Satan-Description du Tunnel
The Thing-Sounds Like a Sandwich
Lupe Fiasco-Hurt Me Soul
Shellac-The Admiral
Kanye West-Skit #3 (I'm not sure this counts, since it's not really a song)
Naked City-I Die Screaming
Naked City-Metal Tov
John Zorn-Protocols of Zion
Kidd Jordan-Last of the Chicken Wings
Naked City-Poisonhead (extra #11, since in the last four songs, I decided Skit #3 definitely doesn't count)

Damn, that's a lot of John Zorn (Naked City being, as you all must know, one of his bands). Love Zorn, and especially love Naked City, but I'm finding that Naked City shows up ALL THE TIME on my shuffle play, since their records tend to each have like 30 songs that are mostly like 30 seconds long. And since in the recent Naked City boxset, which I just got relatively cheap at Tower's going-out-of-business sale (so long, Tower, you used to be cool), all the music was remixed (remixed = the volume was cranked way up), and since a lot of Naked City's songs start with crazy shrieking by Japanese crazy-shrieker Yamataka Eye, I've been getting my eardrums blown out on a regular basis. Thanks for that, John Zorn.

Holy shit, I just noticed that in that last tune, "Poisonhead", the barely decipherable lyrics are from Public Enemy's "Caught, Can I Get a Witness?" Awesome!